Michael Campbell

Story Time.

Pipe Down

I'm not crazy. At least I'm not certifiable just because I occasionally hear bagpipes. I hear them every once in a while, droning about my house (them, not me) and it is unsettling. I usually hear bagpipes only at funerals. I suppose they help drive off evil spirits....

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Your Mama Has Nice Tomatoes

It is too beautiful outside. I have been doing all kinds of chores, to avoid doing real work. I cleaned up the kitchen, emptied the dishwasher, harvested clumps of Romeo's abandoned cat hair. While taking out the trash I circled around to pull a few weeds and prune my...

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Expensive Tastes

Food tastes better when it is expensive. This theory explains caviar. If caviar were fifty cents a can, it would be sold only by Little Friskies. I once drank a $100 bottle of wine. The experience was ruined because I didn't know it cost $100. I was at a foofy...

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