I got my water bill this week. My usage was five times higher than last year. It’s the price I pay for not fixing the leaking toilet. At about $29, it’s a fair price. I know exactly how to fix a toilet. I know what’s involved, because I’ve done it before. That's why I...
If I tried to roll dough into a rectangle, I wouldn't be able to do it. I had my heart set on making pizza last night, but discovered I didn't have any yeast. So I saved time by buying one of those dough-in-a-tube things. I cracked open the tube and unrolled the...
The Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop at the University of Dayton just named me Humor Writer of The Month. Getting out of bed this morning wasn't a mistake after all!Thank you, Matt.
Last night I slept like the dead. Unlike the dead, I woke up feeling great. So I guess I slept more like Jesus. I shared that with some friends on a blog, and in a torrent of responses it was suggested that I probably slept more like Lazarus. I suppose it was too much...