Michael Campbell

Story Time.


The internet is helpful, mostly. The telephone: now there’s a handy device. But every single day I pause to give thanks to my favorite invention of all: my toilet. Every vulnerable, humbling, shameful experience gets washed away discreetly, at the press of a silver...

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Where Civility Ends

Did Facebook and Twitter break the world? We used to be nice to each other (at least face to face) and we managed to disagree without throwing punches (mostly). Have we lost civility forever? It’s those darned crazy kids these days, and their shoot-em-up video games,...

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Feeling Punchy

On St. Patrick's Day in my elementary school you were supposed to wear something green. If you didn't, everyone had the right to pinch you. So far as I can remember, this was the only opportunity to pinch another boy and not get pounded. But there was a caveat: if it...

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Naked Power

My stairs are squeaky. When you walk up or down them, it sounds like an army of marching ducks. I don't notice the sound. The house I grew up in had squeaky stairs too. I suppose it kept me from sneaking out at night, though I never had anyhwere to go. I awoke with a...

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P is for pee

I'm not one to wet my pants. People often say that something scared the pee out of them, so it must not be uncommon. I get scared plenty, so I guess I'm just not that way. Perhaps the best wet-myself opportunity was when I was at Worlds of Fun, grinding up an...

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