Me at the Buffalo County Fair, 1972: “Please can I have some cotton candy?” Dad: “No.” “Pleeeeeze? Pleeeaaaauuuuzzzhhh?” As if adding syllables would help. “No.” “ I’ll never ask for any…” “Fine—just shut up. Here’s fifty cents. Get outta here.” “It costs...
My first tricycle was taller than everyone else's. It was a hand-me-down, apparently owned by someone who rode it at age fifteen. My feet barely reached the pedals.But kids were less judgmental then. We rode what we were given. I was given that tricycle, and I didn't...
Global Warming. Underwear Bombers. Gluten. Life feels precarious. I’ve gone beyond worrying about tomorrow to worrying whether I’ll make it to happy hour. To console myself, I make every meal a Last Supper. Not the broken bread and bloody wine kind, but real comfort...
My mother moved out of her house in my humble hometown of Kearney, Nebraska after forty-eight years. I was two years old when we moved there, and didn't leave until college beckoned.You wouldn't think I'd remember anything about the house we had before that, but I do....
Some people have perfect pitch. Most of us have relative pitch. A few of us bray like goats, which is fine too because goats are cute. Relative pitch means you can sing Happy Birthday in such a way that other people recognize it. You may find yourself straining...
My favorite place to go for seafood was a box of Mrs. Paul’s. Fish sticks were my favorite. Throughout my life I thought I loved seafood. It turns out what I love is tartar sauce and wine vinegar. Tartar sauce is just pickle relish in mayonnaise. It makes everything...
We weren't getting along. Mostly, we were just staying away from each other. I love to go for walks at night in the winter, and I was happy to go alone. Winter sky is so clear it's black. Stars pierce. I clearly see patterns in the stars, but I don't see a dog or bear...
Fire in the fireplaceFull of Christmas cheer!Fire in the fireplaceHappy New Year!Fire in the fireplacePretty as — fuck!That's not the fireplace!Call the fire truck!
It was a dream opportunity. One of my favorite bands asked me to join them.Never mind that I was older. Or that I wasn't any kind of a rocker. Although I own some Spandex, I don't look good in it. As much as rock bands strive to have good songs, they ache for a cool...
I stood in the dark, wet alley behind the movie theater. It was a small-town theater, and the alley, lined with saggy cobblestones, was barely wide enough for the garbage truck to get through. I stood alone, waiting for the actors to come out. At eight years old, I...